When my wife and I sat down in the middle of the night with a home pregnancy test in bewildered awe of the coming tectonic shift in our lives, I didn’t really consider the situation that I would be in when our little baby entered the world. From our calculations, it looked like he would enter the world around the time of my winter break after my first quarter in the PhD program. We thought that perhaps aiming for the summer break (which will be my first summer break in years!) might be more ideal, but winter break sounded like a good alternative.
His due date was actually slightly before the break began, just before finals week. Hmmm. Looking a bit less academically “convenient.” As it turned out, our boy thought he’d wait it out and came two weeks late and during the break. Before you think that this eased my end-of-quarter responsibilities, consider that rather than having a baby to care for, the situation left me with a very pregnant wife to serve (thus fulfilling our marital vows) just as the quarter was coming to a close. Some academic responsibilities were necessarily put on hold.
When Declan (our son) finally did come (after some encouragement), however, I was not “in the clear” with my academic responsibilities. I had grading to do. And lots of it. I had been used to Fuller Seminary’s policy of allowing professors until the second week of the following quarter–no matter how long the break is–to complete and submit grades. As a student, I didn’t like the wait. As a grader, I appreciated the breathing room. Now, at UCLA, my appreciation for Fuller’s policy is even deeper. You see, at UCLA, no matter how many students are on your class–thirty or three hundred–you have about one week to grade your assignments. I was the grader for a class of 120 students and my son was born on the one week I had to grade. The situation left me with final exams to grade, whilst on the maternity floor.
Such was my introduction to life as an academic dad.
Since I have intended this blog to explore the strange world of academia, I thought I might start blogging about my own transition into this world. I have seen some articles in the Chronicle of Higher Education in the past on similar themes. I will have to revisit them and see how true they have become for me. When I call this series of posts “acadadia” I do not seek to diminish academic moms, who face their own series of challenges. My own wife is very accomplished professionally, with more letters after her name than I have (at least so far–our competition isn’t over yet), and has plenty of challenges as she considers what it will mean for her to have a strong career and also be a dedicated mom. I would simply like to explore what it means for me to be a devoted father (and husband!) while also tackling my academic goals.
So many people have warned me about the challenges of a doctoral program. And now I am learning them first hand.
More to come.
