I am new to the world of honor/shame research and I am now diving in. I know some of the basics, but after reading Bruce Malina’s chapter on honor and shame in his New Testament World, I am still trying to get a hold of this “positive shame” business:

Positive shame, a sense of shame, means sensitivity about one’s own reputation, sensitivity to the opinion of others. To have shame in this sense is an eminently positive value. Any human being worthy of the title “human,” any human group worthy of belonging to humankind, needs to have shame, to be sensitive to its honor rating, to be perceptive to the opinion of others. A sense of shame makes the contest of living possible, dignified, and human, since it implies acceptance of and respect for the rules of human interaction. (49)

Note that “positive shame” is having shame (noun) rather than being shamed (verb). To get shamed or to be shamed occurs when people “aspire to a certain status and this status is denied them by public opinion” (50). So, being or getting shamed is negative shame, then? Malina doesn’t come out and use that term, but it seems implied. But, then, what is negative about the shame?

I tried looking around to see if Malina was just making this stuff up or whether he was misappropriating insights from another field. In addition to other (more scholarly) things, I did find an article in Parade Magazine (!) by Dr. Joyce Brothers (!) about positive shame, entitled “Shame May Not Be So Bad After All.” Brothers seems to connect “bad” shame with unnecessary humiliation or guilt, while relating positive shame to a healthy sense of social norms and respect for others. She relates the story of a man who yells at the refs too loudly at youth soccer games until the fellow parents get fed up and finally “shame” him (verb) by booing his actions. The act of being shamed, for this man, apparently led to a renewed sense of shame (noun) where he began to voice his displeasure with refs in a quieter manner.

Brothers says: “Positive shame occurs when we see ourselves as we really are—perhaps too self-involved to notice that our spouse needs our help, perhaps too scared of what others think to stand up for someone in trouble, perhaps too resentful of the past to allow a wound to heal.” Well, if it’s in Parade Magazine, it must be true. At least I know now that Malina did not make up this category of “positive shame.”

To complicate things, Malina suggests that (for Mediterranean society) “when honor is viewed as an exclusive prerogative of one of the genders, then honor is always male, and shame is always female” (49). I’m confused. Are we saying that only women have this positive sense of shame? But isn’t it required for all of humanity to have a sense of shame? Are we also saying that women in Mediterranean society are not capable of possessing honor?

It seems the male in this society is characterized by open boldness, while the female is characterized by private timidity. Get this interesting bit of symbolism:

First of all, male honor is symboled by the testicles, which stand for manliness, courage, authority over family, willingness to defend one’s reputation, and refusal to submit to humiliation [elsewhere he adds: courage, defense of family's honor, concern for prestige, and social eminence]. . . . Female honor, on the other hand, is symboled by the maidenhead (hymen) and stands for female sexual exclusiveness, discretion, shyness, restraint, and timidity [elsewhere he adds: modesty and blushing]. (47)

Malina says that all of the male behaviors listed are considered honorable behavior for a male in Mediterranean society. All of the characteristics of female positive shame listed “[make] her honorable” (49). This is one of the points that make my head hurt: a strong sense of positive shame for the female (but not for the male?) leads to honorable standing. The idea that some form of shame would be a prerequisite for honor seems like a paradox to me. I have long thought of honor and shame as opposites. I guess this post has been about me figuring out that they have a much more complicated relationship.

Any thoughts?