Biblical Studies Carnival 43, Or, The Apocalypse of Eve
My fellow bibliobloggers and biblioblog readers, I have tremendous news! I have discovered a new ancient document, heretofore never published! I discovered this document at the beginning of June and have worked tirelessly to decode its original script.
Using my advanced technological resources, I have dated the document to the late second century CE. Most astounding of all, this document includes a narrative revelation of the mysteries of the biblioblogging of June 2009. Thus, rather than actually doing the carnival for myself, I have simply translated this work so that we can all revel in its uncanny accuracy. Below is my transcript, with the accompanying links where appropriate. The prophecies are a bit fuzzy and there are strange translation issues, but if you hover over the links, those should be descriptive enough for our modern understanding of things.
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I, Eve, daughter of life and mother of light record the mysteries revealed to me by the Most High, Father and King of heaven. This scroll unveils the secrets of many scrolls, each scroll in its own cloud, approaching from the four corners of the cosmos. Each scroll spews forth from the mouth of a distinct figure having the appearance of a human being, the messengers of wisdom.
Concerning the first mysteries, a great door opened and I heard an ancient voice.
Douglas the Gun shall inquire into the writings of another voice concerning the timing of a scroll of the Law. Calvin of the Park whose Hat Flops shall reveal two heads in this saying and that saying. Amanda of the Park whose Hat Flops will cry out to Adonai, plumbing the depths of the lamentable words.
Duane the Smith shall call for any idiot to answer his questions from an ancient language, to unveil the meaning of KAL DILI. The Smith will also search for the omens in old songs.
Coming from the East, Michael the Satlow arose and taught me about the dynasty of the Hasmonean kings of old.
Christopher who Hears will report the way of the teachers of the Language of the Old Mysteries. Kevin the Comber of the Edge shall seek the mysteries of the Jews and the Old Books, revealing One Called Semler as their enemy. Julia Daughter of the Exalted One will share with the faithful the wisdom of reading the Ancient Scriptures, once, twice, three times, four times. John the Saint of the Hobbits will report upon a copy of the Old Books, preserved in beauty. Douglas the Gun shall report upon the Old Mysteries revealed within the earth.
Concerning our Lord and the new mysteries, another door opened with the clang of a symbol.
Out of a southeastern river, I saw a hawk rise in the sky. The hawk heralded the new beginning of a wise man, proclaiming, “The bloggings of Brandon the Wason have risen!” In that time, Mark of the Good Land will unveil his true voice to the world. His voice shall whisper the secrets of the New Scriptures for each person to treasure for themselves. This Man of the Good Land will also proclaim regarding the sayings of our Lord, defending against the heresy of the secret scroll.
“In those days, James from the West shall share the proclamations of Marvin the Vinemaker that the Lord was the Wicked Priest to the Essenes of old.” I asked the messenger, “What strange spirit possesses this maker of vines to make these claims?” The man replied, “Such mysteries are hidden even from you, Eve.”
The Woman of the Fourth Month of the Conick will unveil in her scrolls how followers have proclaimed our Lord again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.
In those days, Joel of the Lightning who calls himself the Martyr will explore him and it and the Word from the beginning of John’s account of our Lord–pointing the mysteries of other writings on the same topic. James the Son of Grace shall question the meaning of the Word become flesh. The Son of Grace will have written his own scroll revealed in those times.
The Man of Marx will rise up to challenge the Apostle, calling the Apostle a liar. James the Gregorian will examine the meanings of a single word, the word of the Apostle: The Gregorian called out to the earth: “Give!” Kevin of the Skull will place in order the messengers who comment upon the Apostle’s words to the Philippians. Jason the Great One shall report upon the Apostle and the Law.
And there shall be a great many voices from among the messengers calling out regarding The Bishop Called Wright, one and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another.
Greg of the Pleasant Stream will unveil the neglected words of the New Mysteries here and there and here and there and here and there again.
Michael of Coca-Cola shall reveal the mysteries of the segments of times.
Darrell who Pierces the Valley arose and taught me about the gathering of the New Scriptures.
And there were other various mysteries swirling in a great cloud, being revealed one after another.
In the great multitude there will be those who can control their bodies in such a fashion as to make musical sounds with their buttocks without foul smell. From among this number, David the Miller will search for Greek words rising from the ground of holy lands. Michael of the Thistle Patches will fight with the many headed beasts rising from various scrolls. James from the Village will be a messenger for the many messengers of Enoch.
Ken the Schenk shall dive into the pit of Scriptural errors, shining within it a bright light.
Roland the Farmer will attack the angry gaurdians of the scroll collectors.
The mysteries of James from the West shall be written on a scroll dedicated to the man.
And I looked and I saw a great fire. The fire was divided into a multitude of burning scrolls. There were five burning scrolls in each group and each group represented a single messenger: Ken from the Brown Lands, Brandon the Wason, Jared the Pebble, Kevin of the Skull, The Daniel and The Tonya, James the Son of Grace, Art the Ball Maker, Douglas the Gun, John the Saint of Hobbits, Michael of Coca-Cola, Nicholas the Norelli, The Man Crowned with Laurel from a Thorn Tree [Not Jesus], Judy the Red Woman, Douglas the Chantry Priest, Darrell who Pierces the Valley, James of the Good God, Kevin the Comber of the Edge, John the Son of Andrew, Scott the Attendent of the Castle, Brian the Minister, Claude the Mariottini, Michael the Barber, Michael the Bird Watcher, and many others.
In the end, the fires shall transform into gold and the Garden shall be renewed. And the Sons and Daughters of Wisdom shall know the truth. Amen, Amen, and Amen.
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I am certain that you are all as astounded as I am at the odd beauty (and specificity) of this document! I am going to have to rethink my understanding of prophecy and apocalyptic literature.
I also have to say just how amazing Ken Brown must feel to have not only created such a successful meme among biblioblogs, but also to have had the success of his idea predicted hundreds of years ago. Unbelievable.
If you feel that the prophet has missed important discussions from the past month of biblioblogging, please do share them in the comments. But don’t blame me, I’m just the translator.
Jim Blogs about Greg Blogging about Me Blogging about Julia
I just thought that I would point you to Jim West’s post about Greg’s post about my post which references Julia’s post. This is a very pertinent discussion and I expect it to bear some ripe intellectual fruit.
Do you know of any biblioblogs that . . . ?
A friend of mine asked this question:
Pat, do you know of any biblioblogs that deal particularly with…
1) teaching biblical studies in general
2) using tech in biblical studies ed (e.g. class wikis, PPT, Blackboard, etc.)?
So, I put the question to you all. What do you think? My friend is especially interesting in Hebrew Bible and ANE stuff, I think. But it sounds like he’s open to broader topics in biblical studies too.
Doing a quick search of biblioblogs (or biblicablogs, if you prefer) on the words “pedagogy,” “education,” “teaching” and the like (especially combined with “tech” or “technology” or one of the specifics he mentioned), as well as leaning on my gut, here are some possibilities coming to mind (in no particular order):
- Tim Bulkeley’s SansBlogue
- Chris Heard’s Higgaion
- John Hobbins’ Ancient Hebrew Poetry
- Mark Goodacre’s NT Gateway
- A. K. M. Adam’s AKMA’s Random Thoughts
- The now-defunct Bible Software Review blog would’ve been an option
- There are some of these topics also dispersed at Awilum, PaleoJudaica, Hypotyposeis, Blue Cord, etc. They are topics that hit close to home for bibliobloggers, so one would expect a lot of talk about them. But I think the ones I listed above probably touch on my friend’s questions the most.
- I would suggest doing a search of biblioblogs for these topics with the customized biblioblog search (also, this one).
Any corrections or additions?
Member of The Daily Scribe!
This news is a little late in coming, but a couple weeks ago I was welcomed into the family of The Daily Scribe, which has the description: “A growing compendium of exceptional Christian expression.” One of the things that the Scribe is looking for is open-mindedness and dialogue. I am honored and happy to be included in such a community as it is inventing itself. Here’s a little bit more from the “About” page:
Only the highest quality Christian writing and expression is aggregated on the pages of The Daily Scribe. All of the writers featured are dedicated professionals in their respective fields and faiths. Theirs is a passion which is obvious, mature and tuned – well tuned. Each aggregated member represents quality and honesty. Each of these individuals bring much of value to the craft.
For me, my membership in The Daily Scribe complements my understanding of my commitment to biblioblogging. I am deeply interested in intellectually engaging issues of scholarship in biblical studies and early Christianity, and I view that as the “biblioblogging” side to my blog. I also want to communicate these issues in a way that is accessible to those outside of scholarship who are still interested in the issues, and I guess I think of my newly formed commitment to The Daily Scribe as one representation of that passion to communicate to a wider audience. This melding of intellectual engagement with an attempt to communicate complicated issues of scholarship to a wider audience, by the way, is how I view my journey as a scholar and future educator. Engage in scholarship. Communicate and dialogue with students and other interested folks.
Since joining TDS, I have discovered a number of well-written and very interesting blogs on matters of faith. I highly recommend checking it out!
Biblioblogger lunch
No, that’s not where one eats bibliobloggers for lunch, but rather the time during which one meets other bibliobloggers for conversation and food. It’s going to be at 11:30am on Sunday at the entrance to the book exhibit, so that all the people going to the book exhibit can say, “Who are all these crazies blocking the entrance to the book exhibit?”
Chris Brady is scoping out lunch options and Kevin Wilson encourages us all to get the word out. Hence, this post. This is not a closed session, by the way. All are welcome. It is unfortunate, though, that April DeConick can’t make it. I’ll have to find her elsewhere!
It’ll only be a little over an hour, so that people can head over to various presentations of interest that start around 1pm.
I would also like to mention just how grateful I only have a two-hour train ride to get to San Diego, unlike the massive journeys faced by Chris Tilling and James Crossley.
June biblioblogger updates… and women bibliobloggers?
[Update (6/7/07): My apologies for using the term "women bibliobloggers": explanation here]
The Biblical Studies Carnival 18 is up as of last night over at Deinde, written by Danny Zacharias. The “carnival” is an attempt to gather together all and highlight the best blogging posts and conversations regarding biblical studies. You can read an explanation with instructions by Tyler Williams, the coordinator of the carnival, and even see an article written by him about it in the Society of Biblical Literature Forum. Danny has done a wonderful job (although, there appear to be some strange line break formatting going on in part of the post). I told him in an email that I do not envy that job! I especially appreciated his coverage of the “One Act Play” on “Who Not to Cite,” a kerfuffle started by Jim West (responding to Mike Bird) who lambasted anything written by InterVarsity Press.
The first of the month also brings forth the Featured Blogger of the Month at biblioblogs.com. For June, that blogger is Rick Brannan, a Logos Bible Software employee and three way blogger of Ricoblog and PastoralEpistles.com, while also contributing to Logos Bible Software blog. Like Mark Goodacre, I was particularly interested in Rick’s thoughts on the “current state of blogging” (related to biblical studies, in particular). And I was also quite impressed to see that he has built his own kayak!
Taking a look at the featured bibliobloggers of blogging past, I was struck by the fact that there is only one woman (correct me if I’m missing any): Lesa Bellevie, whose blog (The Magdalene Review) is now apparently defunct. This does reflect the reality that the overwhelming majority of bibliobloggers are men (even greater than the percentage of scholars in biblical studies). Nevertheless, I have noticed that there are some great bloggers in our midst, who happen to be women and who deserve featured mention. April DeConick’s blog is particularly strong. In fact, looking at my “trends” on Google Reader, I have shared more of her posts in the past 30 days than any other blogger. Closely related to April’s work is Judy Redman’s blog. And another fairly recent addition is Angela Roskop Erisman. These last two are less frequent bloggers than April, but strong nonetheless. I see also that April links to Betty Adam’s blog, with which I am not familiar (but I’m now going to subscribe). Am I missing any women bibliobloggers? I’m probably going to kick myself for not mentioning somebody.
Also, I am worried that as a white male (even if I am lower on the academic totem pole than all the women I’ve mentioned), this might sound paternalistic. That’s perhaps the most sensitive issue with being a male feminist. I just think that we are still a long way off from being liberated from stereotypes and assumptions regarding gender roles, even in academia, and the topic should be discussed from time to time.
Update (Same Day): Jim West has just informed me that the dearth of female bibliobloggers has been discussed in the past. So I have taken a look to see. In the lead up to the Philly SBL conference (Nov 2005), Ed Cook raised the question about what should be discussed among bibliobloggers and this was one of the topics mentioned. Jim West [broken link] and Joe Cathey [broken link] responded. Mark Goodacre mentions two now defunct female bibliobloggers [Helenann Hartley and Jenee Woodard] and, while hoping not to fall into “gender-stereotyping,” asks “Is there something about the combination between the male-dominated academy and the nerdy, geeky male electronic world, that makes the computer academy particularly prone to this?”
Loren Rosen suggests, “Blogs feed our male egos like no other internet forum, and there’s certainly no point pretending (lying) otherwise, even if we also have positive motives for being involved in this network of shared learning.” Further, he says:
I’m suggesting that women share their interests with others in less self-aggrandizing ways. The “anonymous female” who responded to Mark Goodacre confirms this, when she says: “I think the main reason [I don’t blog] is that I am just not comfortable with the idea of telling random strangers what I think about things.” We men, by contrast, are very comfortable doing this.
Lest he be misrepresented, it is clear that Loren wants to highlight both “sharing” and “aggrandizing” motives for males who blog, but that it is just difficult to admit the latter. Finally, here Jim Davila rounds up the various blogging about the biblioblog meeting in Philly, much of which includes thoughts about the dearth of female biblioblogging. I don’t have time to read through all of it right now, but I did notice that Mark Goodacre thinks that we should at least draw attention to it. The last talk that I see (correct me if I’m wrong) was about a year and a half ago. I don’t think it’s wrong to raise the question within such a space of time, particularly in the fast-paced blogging world (of which I wasn’t even a part in 2005).
One thing that I notice is that I see plenty of women bloggers out there (take the contributors to Emerging Women, for instance, or many of those to the Beatitudes Society blog), just not so much in biblical studies. So, is it a lack of interest amidst female biblical studies scholars/informed-laypersons? Or a lack of welcome amidst those already in the biblioblogging world? Or something else? Or all of the above?
Also, as I type this, April comments of Rebecca Lesses’ blog–another that I’ll be adding to my subscriptions.
Update (6/3/07): See Judy Redman’s thoughtful response on her blog. Jim West also mentions the issue on his blog. Michael Westmoreland-White piggybacks on this issue a
nd reflects on women theology bloggers, which seems to be in better shape (numbers wise) than women bibliobloggers. Michael also encourages his readers, if they be female bibliobloggers or know of some, to “tell either Pat or Jim (the latter can get you more traffic)”. Hmmm…. well, I guess it’s true, Jim being the hub of biblioblogdom that he is! But, as the old Jesus saying goes, the higher trafficked blogs shall be last and the lesser frequented blogs shall be first, right?
UnSpun update: We're rockin' the vote
I just checked back on Amazon UnSpun since I’ve seen it posted on so many blogs since I did my rankings. On the UnSpun homepage, their Most Popular Lists breakdown for the past 30 days currently has our biblioblogs list (“Best Blogs about Biblical Studies“) at #2, behind “Missing Apple Announcements.” Come on, we can beat out all the iStuff fanatics!
Also of interest, “Top Theology Blogs” is listed as #3 and “Best Bible in English” is #4.
I’m still not sure how reliable the ranking is, but hey, it’s fun anyway.
Biblioblog rankings… I guess.
I just learned from Jim West that there is this list ranking Biblical Studies blogs on this thing called Amazon UnSpun. I’ve never heard of Amazon UnSpun, but apparently it’s related to Amazon.com and it seems to be a community of lists. People vote and comment on the items on these lists. I guess that’s interesting. The seventh most popular list in the past 30 days is “Best Things about Rhodesian Ridgeback Dogs.” I entered my own blog on the list (of biblioblogs, not Rhodesian Ridgeback Dogs) since it wasn’t there yet and then it just appeared at #6 on the list! I don’t know what’s up with that. I’m sure it will change soon. Also, they put some mysterious number on the right side of each item and I don’t know what that’s about either. At first I thought it was the amount of votes and since Jim West had 3333 next to his blog name, I thought he must have voted for himself a couple thousand times. Alas, not even he would do such a thing. Here’s a widget of the voting thus far:
I put some others on there too. Once I started rearranging my own personal rankings (which is very easy to do), it made a significant difference in the order of the community rankings… so that apparently makes a bigger difference than just voting, at least it does right now, while not many people have voted yet. I currently have a much inflated position on the list. I’m sure it will get more realistic with more votes!
James Tabor is biblioblogger of the month
James Tabor, author of The Jesus Dynasty and Chair of the Department of Religious Studies at UNC-Charlotte, is the featured biblioblogger of the month, deservedly so. He had a good interview with Brandon Wason. Check it out.
Added to Biblioblogs.com
I don’t know when this happened (it seems to have been around 3/18), but apparently I’ve been added to the biblioblogs roster! I was surprised to discover that someone found their path to my blog from the biblioblogs.com list of blogs. Many thanks to Jim West and Brandon Wason for including me in their esteemed blogroll!




